The whole way from Dorne, all anyone talked about was the monster that had been born to Tywin Lannister. A head twice the size of his body, a tail between his legs, claws, one red eye. The privates of both a girl and a boy.

When we met your sister she promised she would show you to us. Everyday we would ask. Every day she would say, “Soon.”

Then, she and your brother took us to your nursery, and… she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large, your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw. No red eye. No tail between your legs. Just a tiny, pink cock. We didn’t try to hide our disappointment.

(via forassgard)

Welcome to Hollywood, bitch! I’ll see you at the Vanity Fair party and I’ll be holding that golden statue you deserve ‘cause guess what? It happened to me too!

(via obartons)

ohawkguy:

the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.

(via lucideous)

thatkindofwoman:

Last week, I went on an adventure to a cheesemaker’s milk house, and it was interesting and wonderful. Huge thanks to my friend and the owner Stefanie for letting me come and visit the Valley Milkhouse at the Covered Bridge Farm.